C-Sections are they really an easy option?: My story (**contains picture some might find disturbing**)

 

why are C-sections are seen as an easy option to give birth. a lot saying oh you didn’t have the pain of labour or everything stays the same (down there) and the term “too posh to push” is thrown around loosely, in my opinion C-sections are NOT an easy option.

People seem to forget that C-sections are major abdominal surgery, and the recovery takes weeks sometimes months. I’ve had two C-sections and lived to tell the tale.

My first C-section takes me back to January 2012, I was 24 years old, the pregnancy was going relatively well (except for a few minor high blood pressure alarms) my due date was the 18th and I was trying to induce labour from that date, hot curry, hot sex and hot baths (consultants advice). But on January 19th I attended the hospital for a routine check up, as the doctor left my tummy she noticed my baby was in the breech position ( head up for those who don’t know this is a very dangerous way to give birth), I was scheduled for a C-section the next day.

That day I cried so hard, why was this happening to me? will I die? will my baby die? I had no information on what to expect  what was I about to undergo? or the sheer risk of it all I had no clue. As I made my way to the hospital with my partner and bags  in toe I was shaking with nerves, confused and to be honest I wanted to know more about what was going to happen.

January 20th came, the day my beautiful son would be born an exact time was given, 11am (the only small comfort) as I made my way to theatre in a very unflattering hospital gown which was so not colour, I could feel my heart jumping out of my chest, the room was a very cold and very dull place to be I remember thinking “do I really want my baby born in this cold uninviting room?” . but I HAD NO CHOICE it was the only way my baby would arrive safely.

There were machines and steal equipment laid around this mini black leather bench that they called the operating table, I remember saying to myself how the hell am I going to fit on that?, This is where many women before me and after me had their babies. The epidural and all other lines were administered, and as you can imagine very daunting for a 24 year old girl. As I lay there with my partner by my head, I could hear beep beep beep beep (the machine monitoring my heart). The next thing I remember its 12.02pm and my baby is out of me looking up over a blue cloth screaming his little head off  “Waahh”, so beautiful,  he was then placed into an incubator and left about 10 feet from me.  all I could do was stare at him ,I couldn’t hold him or touch him. He weighed in at an amazing 8lbs10oz and was born out of a 6cm hole in my tummy (not your usual 10 cm for a vaginal birth)

I spent 1 hour in recovery before being wheeled back to my room, where my mom was waiting to see her 1st grandchild. Again I didn’t hold him, it was 6pm that evening before I actually got to hold my beautiful son. 6 hours after his abrupt entry to this world. 6 hours separated from his mom, that he had spent 40 weeks and 2days with. 6 hours is a very long time.

After 5 days I was sent home to recover, walking was painful, breathing was painful, and the feeling  if you sneeze you might pass out wasn’t appealing either. I didn’t feel “normal” until my son was 12 weeks old. I missed a lot of those precious moments.

My incision at 4 days post C-section

Fast forward to January 2015, my elective c section, after being involved in the optibirth study I decided the risk of rupture for me was too high, I scheduled to have my baby at 39wks. This was definitely more relaxed, and more informative, but nothing could prepare me for the pain I was going to endure this time round. The operation started at 10.13am, the same room, the same table, husband by my head. My son was born at 10.22am. 9 minutes, and he was out. This time  as my son was born I went into shock. I was shaking my husband and baby were asked to theatre. Not knowing what was happening, he was worried. My son weighed in at 7lbs 13oz, again born out of a 6 cm hole in my abdomen.

An hour later, I come round to find my husband and baby waiting in recovery for me, the surgeon told me my womb was very thin and I had a 95% chance I would rupture if labour started (dodged a bullet there) again the safest way for my baby to survive. It took me 8 hours to get on my feet, the pain was unbearable, ripping through my tummy, and my body, I struggled to walk without hunching over and walking at a very slow pace, I felt butchered my insides torn apart, this pain lasted for weeks.

In my head I could run, but my body was laughing at my attempts to even walk, and with a 3 year old at home it was hell, I cried when I couldn’t care for him, I couldn’t lift him I couldn’t even change his nappy.

All I could do was care for the baby, this hurt our bond. it took us 6 months to regain our bond and that took an emotional toll on us both.

19 months on from my last C-section and I still get pain, my muscles have still not re-joined so as a result I have a flabby belly that wont shift. But as a whole I am glad that I had C-sections as for me and many others it was the only way to ensure my children would be born safe, as a mother isn’t that all we want, for our children to be safe? even at a risk to ourselves.

to those who think C-sections are the easy option, I really hope you never have to endure one, because only then will you see the true pain we go through that dose not last days like labour does, this pain last months.

C-SECTIONS ARE NOT AN EASY OPTION

Love Kel xx